


Hellish Companions

by Shirrin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Challenge fic, F/M, Kismesissitude, black fluff, fluff challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 10:02:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5703574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shirrin/pseuds/Shirrin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John tells us one of the many stories he has about his kismesis Terezi.</p>
<p>Note: The Duck Bomb exists, if you don’t know of it then look it up on youtube. Either alone or with headphones and the sound low.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hellish Companions

Believe it or not, some people don’t believe me when I tell them stories about what happens between me and Terezi. They say I have to just be making it up or that there’s no way Terezi would do something like that. Well let me tell you,  _ she would.  _ It doesn’t even matter what thing you’re thinking about, at this point I’m willing to believe she’d do anything. And I swear she enjoys seeing everyone call me a liar and not saying a damned thing about how wrong they are.

Like this one time! Have you ever heard of a “Duck Bomb?”. No? Neither had I. So as it turns out there’s this dog toy or whatever that come in various bird shapes. And like any self respecting dog toy it makes an annoying as fuck noise when the dog bites it. Except this is so much worse. For one thing it makes noise when pulling in air instead of blowing it out, meaning that you can hide them compressed somewhere and leave it like a ticking timebomb for someone to arrive and lift whateves on it. For another thing the noise it makes can only in the loosest terms be called a quack. And finally it’s loud as balls and goes on forever. And no I would not use them to prank anybody, I am above such juvenile tactics. Terezi isn’t. She found out about these god-awful things and made it  _ even worse.  _

I was just sitting around my place doing absolutely nothing when Terezi rises out from behind the sofa. I don’t even know how she got in my house without me noticing! So anyway, she’s holding this box thing right? It’s like one of those boxes where the sides fall when you take the top off. So I’m wondering “What’s in the box.” Apparently I have a bit of morbid curiosity in me, because since when is anything Terezi has a good thing? She puts it onto the couch I lept off of and just smiles. All pointy teeth and the anticipation of another's doom. I must be stubborn or prideful or something because I  _ knew  _ there was nothing good in that box. I  _ knew _ whatever was in there would make my life hell. But I opened the fucking box anyway. And the loudest most ungodly noise I have heard to this day filled my house.

The box was full of those dog toys! There were like thirty in there, all compressed. When the walls of the box fell they started to take in air and “Quack”.  _ At the same time. _ I’m pretty sure I almost lost hearing in one ear. In retaliation I repacked the box, spray painted it in different colors, and left it in her hive. I know I said it was too juvenile for me to prank someone with. This isn’t a prank. This was war. For the next month I would be finding these things in my couch, in my fridge, under things that I knew I didn’t put there. It got to the point that we actually called a truce and banned the damned toy from ever being used again by either of us.

Yet somehow no one I tell will believe me that this hellish month happened. You don’t believe me either, do you? Doesn’t matter anymore. Just as long as you know the she-demon that Terezi is you can believe whatever you want.


End file.
